[Scene #57]
Tony : You'll come back a broken man.
Colin : Yeah, back broken from too much sex.
Tony : You are on the road to disaster.
Colin : No, I am on shag highway, heading west. Farewell, failure.
America, watch out! Here comes Colin Frissell.
And he's got a big knob.
Colin : Take me to a bar.
Taxi driver : What kind of bar?
Colin : Just any bar. Just your average American bar.
Clock : Can I help you?
Colin : Yes. I'd like a Budweiser, please. King of beers.
Clock : Bud coming up.
Stacey : Oh, my God. Are you from England?
Colin : Yes.
Stacey : Oh... that is so cute. Hi, I'm Stacey. Jeannie?
Jeannie : Yeah?
Stacey : This is...
Colin : Colin. Frissell.
Jeannie : Cute name.
Stacey : Jeannie. He's from England.
Colin : Yep. Basildon.
Jeannie : Oh.
Stacey : Oh.
Jeannie : Wait till Carol-Anne gets here. She's crazy about English guys.
Stacey : Uh-huh.
Carol-Anne : Hey, girls.
Jeannie : Carol-Anne, come meet Colin. He's from England.
Carol-Anne : Well, step aside, ladies. This one's on me. (to Colin) Hey, gorgeous.
Stacey : That is so funny! What do you call that?
Colin : Er, bottle.
Girls : (imitates English tone) "Bottle."
Carol-Anne : What about this?
Colin : Er, straw.
Girls : "Straw."
Jeannie : What about this?
Colin : Table.
Jeannie : Table. The same.
Stacey : Oh, it's the same.
Carol-Anne : Where are you staying?
Colin : I don't actually know. I'll just check into a motel like in the movies.
Stacey : Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that is so cute.
Jeannie : No, no, no, listen. This may be a bit pushy cos we just met you but...
why don't you come back and sleep at our place?
Carol-Anne : Yeah.
Stacey : Yeah.
Colin : Well, if it's not too much of an inconvenience…
Carol-Anne : Hell no! But there's one problem.
Colin : What?
Jeannie : Well, we're not the richest of girls, you know. So we just have a little bed and no couch.
So you'd have to share with all three of us.
Carol-Anne : And on this cold, cold night it's going to be crowded and sweaty and stuff.
Stacey : And we can't even afford pyjamas.
Colin : No?
Jeannie : Which means...we would be naked.
Colin : No, no, I think it'd be fine.
Girls : Great.
Carol-Anne : Erm...The thing that's gonna make it more crowded...Harriet. You haven't met Harriet.
Colin : There's a fourth one?
Girls : Yeah.
Stacey : Don't worry, you're totally gonna like her cos she is "the sexy one".
Colin : Really? Wow.
Girls : Yeah.
Colin : Praise the Lord!
Carol-Anne : Oh, and he's a Christian.
All : Cheers.
